As this fine publication arrives in your letterbox, for the last time this year, it begins the countdown to Christmas.
It’s time for alcohol-fuelled work Christmas parties, to tell your boss or your ‘crush’ what you really think of them (no doubt these have ramifications in the new year), for family gatherings (and pretending you really do like each other). But it is also time to buy Christmas presents. So, I’d like to share some shopping tips for the blokes who by and large do not excel in this department.
There is nothing wrong with leaving the shopping until Christmas Eve. It adds to the thrill and excitement of the last-minute rush. But, like me, you may find it does not always work out.
When I was younger, I used to buy all my family presents from K-Mart and myself things from Myer (when they were ‘the’ store) and keep the bags. On Christmas Day, under the pretence of being environmentally aware, without wrapping paper, I would hand out all the cheap gifts from the Myer bag. Maybe, if I’d bought something on a really good special, I’d tear off the special tag and ‘accidentally’ leave a tag with the original price on it. Once I got married, I was told that these types of practices were no longer tolerated.
Re-gifting from last year. Getting crap presents is part of the deal and you have to “Madagascar penguin” up, so smile and wave. But it is what you do with the present that counts. We all have a relative or an in-law who we are not that keen on. Just regift the crap presents. And there is nothing wrong with giving them back the crap present they gave you the year before.
You can ask your women friends or work colleagues to help shop for your partner. But this comes with its own danger. Sure, it takes the guesswork out of the process, but they also like to spend large as it is not their money. I would always hear the line “she has to put up with you, so you need to pony up and pony up huge”! Also, my wife would often thank the girls I work with for her presents, despite me pleading my case.
Please note: if you request the presents, you must use them for their designed purpose. Last year this young lady rolled up at work in all-new active wear as we waited for a lift. After about 90 seconds, the lift arrived and she went up ONE floor!
You also have to make sure that you do not take other people’s presents and use them yourself. Like the time I was at the gym and a few of the young ones (young for me is anyone under 35) were kinda looking at me. Then I realised that I had taken my daughter’s “One Direction” beach towel to the gym. I did try to explain that the towel was not mine, even though Harry is my fav.
I would like to thank Gen and Marcus for having the courage to produce this local magazine in these trying times and for wanting to publish my silly little stories. To the 000’s of people who stop me in the street and say how much they like my articles, I thank you. Oops, I think I added a couple of zeros. I hope you and your families have a jolly good Christmas.
