Amidst tears in the audience and on stage, the 2015 Australian of the Year, Rosie Batty, told Friday's sold-out International Women's Day event at the WIN Entertainment Centre that it's time for men to "step up" to fight domestic violence and misogyny.
Eleven years ago, Rosie lost her son Luke, murdered by his father while at cricket practice. Less than 12 months later, she was presented with Australia's top honour for speaking out on behalf of all victims of domestic violence.
She described Luke's death as "the ultimate act of power, control and revenge" by his father.
"He did this to make me suffer for the rest of my life, but I won't let him win."
It's time to 'fire up'
Rosie called on the big crowd to "fire up" and to find strength in each other.
"The importance of events like this is to bring people together who are strong, smart and resourceful," Rosie said.
She said that, frustratingly, women were still not treated as equals.
"We are imposters. We doubt ourselves and play ourselves down and men don't know what that feels like. I want to say to the women who are here today who have been the victims of violence, and who know my pain, thank you for showing the strength to come here today."
Rosie said Luke's death gave her a purpose. "I knew when I won (the Australian of the Year award) people looked to me and needed my platform to amplify their voices, and I had to rise to the occasion.
"I wouldn't want any parent to live through what I still go through... but I was on a mission to reach audiences."
Rosie said in her year as Australian of the Year she gave 250 speeches to 70,000 people in total. The following year she spoke at nearly 200 events.
"When people told me to slow down and make time to grieve, I became fiery. I needed to use my voice and start a momentum for change."
'My health was suffering'
She said in the third year she stopped counting how many speeches she gave. "My health was suffering. My pain and anger were growing. I wasn't a nice person to be around.
"I felt incredibly alone, yet here I was being hailed as a hero. I felt so unworthy. I was tired.
"I understood why people give up and lose hope but I'm lucky."
Rosie said with the support of close friends "I've found my way, to find a life that I can enjoy, where I have moments of contentment, laughter and fun."
Having found time to grieve while in isolation during Victoria's Covid lockdowns, Rosie said she was pleased to be able to again speak to audiences about the scourge of domestic violence.
"What I choose to do helps me in my life. I'm pleased people look forward to meeting me and look forward to hearing what I have to say," Rosie said. "What I never wanted and could never tolerate was pity and sympathy. That was a cloak I never wanted to wear."
Tired and exhausted
Rosie said 11 years of campaigning "does get tiring and exhausting".
"In 11 years, I am still saying the same things and I didn't think that would be the case. Eleven years ago, it was a dirty little secret. If there's one thing that I've tried to do is to challenge the victim-blaming attitude. 'Why didn't she just leave?' they ask.
"Eleven years ago it was very difficult to call it out but now we can say it's a man's issue – 94 per cent of violence is perpetrated by men."
Rosie called on men to "step up".
"Respect is at the core of who we are and who we want to be. A gender equal world is a better world, so why is there such resistance when the solutions are so clear."
Men have nothing to fear
"What is it that men have most to fear? Men need to recognise they have nothing to fear, they just need to make space for women. How does it change? It starts with us not accepting – and challenging."
Rosie said she was shocked by the offensive on-air remarks made recently by Melbourne radio host Marty Sheargold about the Matildas soccer team.
"Misogyny is alive but it is no longer acceptable. We will not let misogyny have a place. What he said may have been funny once, I don't know. But it doesn't fit today."
Rosie was pleased that management at the radio station took immediate action and sacked Sheargold.
"We're on a journey together where we understand our jokes and banter and the hurt it causes. Each one of us needs to take responsibility to be a better person."
The Member for Keira and NSW Health Minister, Ryan Park, thanked Rosie for her powerful speech and her ongoing advocacy for victims of domestic violence.
"It was a tragedy that Rosie had to lose her beloved Luke to start a national conversation. Rosie is the woman in this country who inspired the nation to have that conversation."
Read more in Huge turn out to celebrate 20 years of International Women’s Day in the Illawarra
