Artist Melissa Ritchie, the president of the Illawarra Association for the Visual Arts (IAVA), shares her experience of a Tender Funeral.
My aunt Robyn Artho – twin sister to my mother Margaret Owers (nee Compton) and an artist like me – was diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease a couple of years ago, so we were somewhat prepared for her death.
Though she didn’t feel comfortable discussing her funeral she had pre-purchased a burial plot, and left details – including a song playlist – to her children. Also, Monique (her eldest daughter) said “Mum hated cut flowers”; she loved living flowers.
The family met with Tender Funerals and Amy (so wonderful) showed us the coffin options. When I saw the plain cardboard coffin, I saw a blank canvas. I knew it was perfect for Aunty Robyn! After a brief discussion with her children, Lauren, Kristian and Monique, and my mum, we all agreed I’d paint her coffin as a memorial for her.
Aunty Robyn had selected an effigy, a tiger, so I painted a tiger surrounded by three roses (representing her sisters), three dragonflies (her children) and seven butterflies (her grandchildren). The hands in a heart shape represent her hands, and the last thing she’d ‘say’ to us in a non-verbal way in her last few months: “I love you.”
I spent a week painting her coffin and it was extremely cathartic. Then family and friends painted, drew, and wrote their own messages of love on the coffin for Robyn’s farewell.
Tender Funerals were so wonderful and supportive of our family during this difficult time.
Thank you, Amy.
A registered charity, Tender Funerals operates out of the former fire station in Port Kembla and offers affordable, personalised, meaningful funerals with the aim of involving families and community to support healthy bereavement. Read more in Tender in name and nature by Susan Luscombe